By Jim Sabol

Dear Lee:

Last summer it seemed like a good idea to bring water from the outdoor standpipe into the barn where we could hook up a hose to reach the stalls. Much more convenient.

So I did.

Fed the feed line from the well through the footing/foundation wall into a stall, across the stall wall, into the center aisle to a spigot and hose. Always enjoy jack-hammering through concrete walls. Wonder what other people do for fun afternoons.

Doctor says cement flake in left eye will work itself out eventually.

Protected total run of new pipe from investigating horses with much stout lumber and screws. Not the horses, the pipe.

Wrapped all new pipe in heat tape. Plugged in heat tape about a week ago.

Didn’t notice horse had kicked plug out of socket several days ago. Or was it nights?

Amazed to see how large a lake that a day and night of free running broken pipe can deliver. Neighbor was amazed, too, when he saw his lawn and his RV inundated with ice. Thought it looked quite beautiful. Still do.

Discovered that neighbor’s sense of humor is considerably smaller than I had always assumed. Same to you, Bob!

Thought of you and guests running trains in nice warm basement while I knelt in ditch bailing water for two hours until I could cut in an emergency shut-off valve in feed line from well.

Artist's Interpretation

Artist’s Interpretation

Chuckled to myself when I noticed that 3/4″ valve from Home Depot didn’t fit 3/4″ line.

Enjoyed yard decorations on return trip to Home Depot. Smiled cheerfully to clerks commenting about returning so soon and possible discount for multiple trips. Great kidders.

Helpfully informed clerk who sold me incorrect valve how I could help him save money on his next colonoscopy. Can’t be too thrifty these days.

Installed shut-off valve with super fast-setting PVC cement. Great stuff. I hear that nail polish will separate thumb from eyebrow.

Opened valve, cut well pump back in, let pipe run clean, shut off valve. Pleased to see valve hold back water flow. End of adventure.

Will tear apart enclosure and repair rupture when freezing weather passes.

Will administer stern lecture to horses about stepping on cords.

Will administer similar lecture to Mary about monitoring her barn.

Me Tarzan. You Jane. Me build. You monitor.

Response from horses: “Yeah, right.”

Response from spouse: “Yeah, right.”

Enjoyed yet another chuckle after putting tools away and grasping gate with wet glove hand. I was never stupid enough as a kid to put my tongue on a frozen gate. Now, a wet glove…

Couldn’t believe how amusing I must have looked as I attempted to crack loose Levi legs frozen from thighs down. Could have sworn that Bob could have heard my cries for help. Response  time  from house not as rapid as your typical 911 call, but not bad. Same to you, Bob.

Well, Lee, I’m leaving out a lot of the more amusing parts, such as how the hot towel I wanted to wrap my hands in caught fire in the microwave oven (note to self: 90 seconds is about it) and how we all chuckled one more time as I tried to squat over the edge of the tub while Mary poured hot water onto the thighs of my frozen Levis. On the whole, it would have worked rather better if we had removed the cat form the tub first. (Note to self: next time wear thermal pants for outdoor jobs in freezing weather.) (Note to cat: how many times do I have go tell you not to play with spiders in the tub?)

And that’s why I missed the train meeting at your house this afternoon, Lee.

I hope you’ll invite me again when we’re not having so much fun in the barn.

I just notice Bob doing acrobatic stunts on his sidewalk. Had no idea he had a background in aerial gymnastics. Wait. He seems to be signaling me he’s O. K. Strange use of finger, though. Same to you, Bob!

Jim here.